CHAT ROOM

I'm in Bristol, those who know me - know me.

(most people don't? - people think I'm like uncomfortable furniture? perhaps I need some 'cool' shades LOL).

I started writing – didn't quite realise how much I'd written.

My life history minus the gory bits in a paragraph:
I started dancing as a child (doing 'tap' at my mothers insistence - I just wanted to play football). I had a big gap where I played the trumpet for about 14 years (classically trained, diverging to jazz and live performance in later years). I went to University where I did a term of Ballroom and Latin American - that was '98 or '99. I graduated, got a job and started dancing Salsa again around the last quarter of 2002.

I've never stopped since - doing it at least once a week, most weeks twice. I imagine most people are the same - it's definitely addictive! Mostly I'm interested in the social dance scene, not lessons now - although I do have favourite teachers and sometimes make an effort to arrive for the lesson.

I'm believe someone may be telling fibs about my character and people may be forming misguided opinions about me: I need to get some things off my chest, not that I'll exactly reach a wide audience here... with the chaotic nature of rumination things should even out though.

I have a middle distance runners chest, not a body builders so this shouldn't take too long :-)

The only 'social' thing I do (at the moment) is Salsa dancing - it quite literally is my social life (so yes some might say I don't have one, and there would be some truth to that if you've ever seen me at a Salsa night - I'm the opposite of vibrant, although you might be surprised - I can hold a conversation for more than a few minutes and I have a very active mind).

I weigh-in at about 11 stones, I usually drink about 3 pints or 4 bottles of beer and copious amounts of water over the course of 3-4 hour evening. I live centrally and walk to and from anything within a 3 mile radius that is a Salsa event and I have time to attend. I would guess I average 20 dances per night – although I'm really not certain, last night I had around 10.

I think my lead of basic moves for Salsa is adequate, with a few minor problems. Sometimes I do more difficult things - with varying success (in a lesson this usually depends on how much I'm concentrating on the task at hand). I believe it helps if both the parts of the couple dancing are able to hear the music - not only the beat, but it's composition. More important for me is that the lady responds to my lead and follows adequately. I really struggle if a lady doesn't follow as I expect and I will point out that I'm having difficulty, which propagates one of three reactions – physical change, non-committal or no change.

I have a day job and several hobbies, I'm satisfied with my Salsa (I aspire for greater things in other areas of my life – at least now). I'm sure one day I'll progress to a higher level, but not this week - probably not this month. When I practice I do get better, I know this from experience.

I believe certain things taught in Salsa lessons will never find their way into common use on the post lesson / club dance floor. Although I do try and adapt if I find enough I like to do - and they can be made to work for me.

I like to have fun and style when dancing and above all a responsive partner.

I dance with a number of women who dance with me on a weekly basis - and I hope they all enjoy it (the majority appear to, I suppose a smile could be artificial – but some things you should take at face value).

I dance with some other women less regularly, but I think they still like to dance with me.

There are women who clearly do not like to or wish to dance with me. It's hard to accept, but I do accept it. I won't pretend I like it – but I can find someone else to dance with, so it's not a great problem.

There are some women I have difficulty leading... I don't think their floppy arms are much use - but I refrain from telling them too much at a time of what I think as I would like to dance with them again!

I also have quite a bit of difficulty dancing Cuban Style well.

There is also one woman I don't seem able to offer any lead to that she would like to follow - I take this as a problem with my lead, but I don't seem to see anyone but the Cuban guys dancing with this woman - so I think maybe she likes to dance only Cuban ... I know I'm pretty bad at that, but I don't think that's the only problem though. Although I've a desire to dance Cuban, I'm not really ready to invest the time at the moment. I'd prefer to learn Tango or Cha Cha (Cha).

but – I'm having a particularly bad time of things in Salsa at the moment...

In recent weeks since just before March something odd has been going on - and I'm losing will to Salsa.

...

We dance with everyone on our birthday, the first time I try it... it backfires. Hopefully I'll be skiing next year and won't need to make a decision.

In March it was my birthday - probably misheard the announcement though, it was two other peoples birthday as well... rather a complicated and uncommon affair - so no one believed it was mine and rather than dancing with 10 or 20 girls only 3 or 4 would dance with me the rest refusing. Never had this much difficulty finding a dance LOL. I had invited friends, but most didn't turn up this was disappointing for me. I left early that night.

In April (OK maybe not April) I ask a girl to dance - who seemed to enjoy dancing many times before, I was having fun - I thought she was too... a bit of free styling, parading, tango all built into the Salsa... She said she was too tired, promptly giggled, covered her mouth with her hands and turned away her head (usually concealment... ). 30-60 seconds later all the partners are taken and she's heading out to the dance floor with someone else.

Finally last night...
I did the beginners lesson – classes were back to back, and I'm of the opinion it doesn't harm to do something simpler occasionally. Anyway - I remember leading one girl in the lesson and thinking to myself, that's a good follower ... I'll ask her for a dance later. In the beginners lesson the talk had been of tension, compression, arm movements, feet movements. Dancing later on in the evening – gone was the following, head pointing to the feet watching my feet. I asked if she would mind trying to feel the lead – look down a little less (as politely and delicately as I could). She did, but I wasn't very successful at leading her – she obviously wasn't feeling it yet (time probably would have helped). About 30 seconds after starting to try, her friend appeared next to her – talked to her in a foreign language (I don't speak more than some French and a little German and Spanish – none of those)... without so much as a word she stepped back turned walked a few paces and began a conversation with her friend in the middle of the dance. I'm left thinking... so are we finished, do I wait.... so I walked to her after about half a minute and asked her if she wanted to continue – to which she said I'm talking to my friend now, no thanks. So it appears I'm now just amusing until something better comes along. I found that rude, and I wonder exactly what was said!

I don't think I'm a bad person, I would be grateful if other people didn't leave me with the impression I was.